Just Because

Now the gold dust in your eyes will forever be stone, and never form to rain.
The safest thing you had, you can never call your own.
Forever I'll be around you, but never will you feel.
The greatest times to be yet had, now never will reveal.
My porcelain skin fades away, into dreams in becomes.
Nothing you can do now, nothing you may have done.
Everything that will happen now, will be, just because.

Logan.

"Too young to leave, too old for his years. Loved beyond telling, missed beyond tears."
It's so surreal to me, still. My little cousin is gone. On September 3rd, 2011 my whole family's world was tipped upside down and strewn around. Logan Sage Hoehne was "one of one" as his mother (my godmother) would say. He was the most unique, talented, and intelligent person I had ever known. Logy would laugh at the simplest things, and be as serious as a stone when the time seemed right. One of my favorite memories of him was one year at Easter with all the cousins. While every one was barreling around looking for eggs and candy for themselves, Logy was helping one of the youngest cousins Ella. They were the best of friends. It seemed when everything else was going wrong in Ella's life, she could always count on Logan to share his "kitty woobie" with her and make everything better. Something about her growing up and him not being there with her makes my stomach twist. For the funeral, Tawnia (Logan's mom) asked some cousins and I to set up picture boards and a slideshow. Sifting through the pictures was heartbreak, but listening to his CD's was hysterical. One CD he had consisted of 9 songs including "Big Balls" by ACDC, "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin, and "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin. When he was just a tot he would ALWAYS wear a little red blazer when it was time to go visit our grandparents. He was the laid back, never a worry in the world, didn't need anyone to keep him company, "Hey mom, I need a tuxedo for tonight. It's prom." kind of kid. He would always walk down this path right next to the pasture behind their barn for hours on end, just looking at the ground. Probably thinking of some way to save more money for college...just the best kid around. I guess I'm just here to say "Good one Loge!" and that I miss you more and more each day. I know Grandpa Jack is treating you right with tickle tortures and giddy up rides. If ya' see the old man, tell him I miss him too! Please continue to watch over your family, we all miss you a lot...

It's what I got.

It's not about "looking good" together.
Or about the height difference there may be.
Not about how they look when undressed.
Or about knowing every single thing about them.
Not about what clothes they wear.
Or what their parents do for a living.
Not about what church they go to.
Or about their favorite food.
It's not about the music they listen to.
Or the color of their hair.

Love is so much less than that.

People fight too hard to see what they want. Not what's in front of them.

Love is seeing someone's flaws, and helping make them better.
It's having fun while doing nothing.
Love is knowing someone like the back of your hand.
It's not having to ask personal questions anymore.
Love is a perfect happiness, and a blurry background to all others.

It's celebrating a Monday with someone.
It's asking a question in a weird accent, and them answering in the same one.
Love's always doing what's best for the both of you.
And sharing the same dreams.

Love is...what I got. :)